It’s been a long process. So when I was in the public service, I would take leaves of absence to do contract work in film/tv production, do internships and anything more creative. I wasn’t going anywhere being a public servant, I was deeply cynical about bureaucracy, I couldn’t use much creativity in my day job (because of said bureaucracy). I realized I didn’t just want to do freelance film production, because those jobs are short-term and the hours are insane, and I’d probably spend years toiling in the same type of roles. So when a permanent job posting appeared for my last job in television, I took it. But a year and a half later, it wasn’t enough either. I’ve gotten so much more confident about my own capabilities as a doc filmmaker and a creative over the years that that voice inside me was telling me I had had it. I don’t have a grand backup plan here, but I know I have to do something different with my life.