Community Critique: Mile High Nancy

(Mile High Nancy) #1

Hi, Here is episode five of my web series Mile High Nancy. It is is about a single mother by choice (she used a sperm donor from Craigslist) who is an aspiring comedian and a cannabis chef on her show Stirring the Pot with Mile High Nancy on cable access TV.
I am the creator, producer, one of the writers, a co director, co editor and actor.
I wanted to get general feedback. What do you find funny? What could work better?
Here is a link:

Here is the website with the other episodes:

The first one production quality was terrible and I know that. I got a different crew. Thank you all.

(Meg Carroway) #2

It’s very slow- I’m about three minutes into episode 5 that you shared and nothing has happened. Just watching her at work and a man uncomfortably gropes her boobs for a shot. It’s really beautifully shot and the sound quality is great (which is rare for web series- kudos!) but the pacing is very slow and for a comedy, especially one about sex, that’s a problem.

This episode should be about half as long, and the pacing really needs to pick up- not just in the edit, but in the performances as well. There’s a lot to work with here, but it needs tightening, if that makes sense.

(sam lockie-waring) #3

the camera work is pretty good- very clear picture. i could see the visuals on any regular tv show which is dope to see in a web series.

i gotta agree with meg, though- very very slow for a comedy. like, almost painfully so. the jokes are said, but not in funny ways. everything is at this monotone but you say “dick” enough that it seems like it should be funny or raunchy but is really just uncomfortable. everyone seems kind of bored on screen, which makes the audience feel bored as well, and that’s not what you want from a comedy.

(Joseph Steven Heath) #4

I’m going to second the comment about the pace. I think there’s too much stuff going on that drags it out. It meanders a lot. If you kept it to just the scene at the table with cutaways, it would probably work better. Though I do like the idea of the karate scene. I also think the stand-up could be removed entirely. It seems fake and unnecessary. Just stick to the basic plot and things will move faster and be more funny, I think. Again though, it looks great and there’s some great ideas. Just needs some fine-tuning.

(Bri Castellini) #5

I think my comments are going to be similar to the other ones that have been left already- the camera and production quality are top notch, but the content itself has some serious pacing and delivery issues. This series could have five minute episodes and make much more of an impact than its current 14 minute form.

Another thing I’ll touch on is something Meg noticed, about it taking a while to get to the story. The episode you shared doesn’t really get to the point until about five minutes in, which, for a 14 minute episode, is way too long. Particularly on the web, you need to make clear with the central conflict is as soon as possible, otherwise you’re going to lose your audience before you even get a chance to tell your story.

There’s clearly a lot of talent in front of and behind the camera on this series, but all the elements haven’t quite lined up. I think you should start by looking at it on a script level and then hone from there- once your script is snappier, your delivery will inherently get snappier, which will lead to a more cohesive, very funny result.

(Mile High Nancy) #6

Hi, I did think about posting it in 5 min blocks. I understand about getting to the conflict quicker.

(Mile High Nancy) #7

Thank you for your comments. I plan to make shorter episodes in the future and get to the conflict and point quicker.

(Mile High Nancy) #8

Hi, I do want to make shorter episodes. Makes sense. Thank you.

(Melissa Malone) #9

I’m gonna echo the previous responses and say shorter, faster paced episodes seem to work better for comedy series. I’m ALSO gonna echo the previous responses and say the production value is pretty fantastic and sound quality is also good! I love the idea for the story you’re telling and having lived in colorado through the end of high school and college- I LOVE that this is a story coming out of Colorado!

That being said, I’d love to see more locations brought in for the series. I know this might not be logistically possible, but I really thought the addition of the new location in Ep 3 (the bar) was a nice change of pace. Colorado is so beautiful with so many cool, unique locations. If possible, it would be cool to see some of those brought in.

The cast is pretty solid and your crew seems to know what they’re doing. All good signs for the future of your series. :slight_smile:

(Mile High Nancy) #10

Hi Melissa, Thank you. Nice to hear from a fellow Coloradan! It can be so hard to deal with locations but yes, Colorado has great ones. I hate dealing with other people to secure locations and make sure they let us in and all that. So I have kept it simple. If I had a budget it might be easier. I have a lot of ideas for scripts and then think about the logistics of it and think of the headaches. I felt like time was right to bring weed into the web series, especially in CO.

(Melissa Malone) #11

I was in Ft. Collins- miss it like crazy! :slight_smile:

I understand the logistics issue. We run into that a lot too. It’s never great to have to depend on someone else’s location but there may be some connections within the cast and crew you don’t know about. Love when that happens! We also try to write knowing our budget/the fact that we don’t really have the luxury of one. Ha.