Critique: Immortal P.I. - Mystery, SciFi Series


Immortality sucks.
Link: Immortal P.I.

Hugo, an immortal man, just can’t seem to stay dead. He hires a Private Investigator, Grant, to help him find a girl he sees every time he dies. That is, if his employer doesn’t find her first.

Hugo’s mystical power and strangely amnesiac memories leads them down a trail of secrets, violence, and repeatable deaths in this web series.

Inspired by films The Nice Guys ,Drive, & Big Trouble, Little China

The trailer, Episode 1 and (at 6PM) Episode 2 will be up at the time of typing this. Episodes will be release throughout the week.!
This series basically didn’t have a budget – or more like a very, very low, no-money budget.

My name is Josh, I am the editor in a group of filmmakers called Film Faction. I also held a small acting role later in the series. We are a group of people who love every aspect of filmmaking, continually practicing to hone our skills on each project - this one being our most recent.

We would love to hear your early feedback, review, and/or answer some of questions I have for the community:

What are you initial overall thoughts and feelings on the show?

What are the lingering questions or inputs you have on the story and characters?

From your own perspective, what was something(s) you noticed we could improve on (with or without a budget)?

Based on what you’ve watched, are you interested in the next episode?

What’s your overall judgement?

Thank you so much for your time!

  • Josh

@hiamandataylor @Meg @NerdsOfTheVerse @Sandwich_Fam @kmd @cagesafe @ghettonerdgirl

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I love the look and lighting of your show! I remember the trailer from a few months ago- so cool it’s finally out!

Initial overal thought: this is really Dramatic Acting (which I put in all caps because it’s almost overacting, which happens in dramas that take themselves super seriously). Your actors are clearly talented but the lines are dripping with seriousness in a way that actually makes it comical instead of tense, which I know isn’t what you’re going for. I’d say… relax a little because every single line doesn’t have to be delivered like they’re on their deathbed and every line doesn’t have to be written like you could cut anywhere and it’d be a cliffhanger zinger. Every line feels like it’s the end of the scene, if that makes sense, which isn’t how people talk so it doesn’t feel natural, it just feels like you’re trying to convince us over and over how Dramatic everything is.

It’s such a cool concept and it looks so good but the scene-to-scene writing and performances is over the top in an unconvincing way.

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