I hope a lot of guys see this, because it really is important that we make sure we aren’t treating women differently when it comes to suggestions or criticism. I’m going to be making sure I’m spot checking myself with the question “Would I say it this way if I was saying it to a man?”
On another note, learning how to differentiate between good and bad criticism is important. One of the most important skills as a creator is how to deal with the opinions of… just everyone.
Nice! Share it around!
Fantastic topic, Kate! I wonder if you are being too polite in your response to the criticism, though. Do we have to be so careful with our words, especially if that is what is stereotypically expected of us as women? I suppose I am specifically thinking of instances where a male DOP decided to air his thoughts about how we were capturing too much footage for a web series doc (even though it is a doc) and I chose to say nothing, only smile and shrug my shoulders. Or another time when I did speak up in response to another male DOP giving his “ideas” on how we should present the host onscreen and because I was pissed off at what I felt was him stepping over the line with respect to his position, I snapped, “No, I completely disagree” and then proceeded to explain why his suggestion was not right. In those types of instances I don’t want to be polite, because they are not trying to be helpful, they’re trying to tell me how to do my job.
No one has ever accused me of being too polite before.
You have to pick your fights. My pat response at the end of the video doesn’t fit all scenarios. In general, however, responding to assholes with more assholery leaves the whole world a butthole. Or something.
Why not tell your DP that you know what you’re doing and his behavior is rude? Why not let it be a learning moment for him too? Snapping at people, earned or not, makes YOU the bitch. That’s the world we live in and, right or wrong, you live here too. It’s hard to unearn a reputation as difficult.